Pleasantly Pleased To Be Sixty



Songs by Ian McCalman

Pleasantly Pleased To Be Sixty

© Ian McCalman MCPS/PRS

I'm pleasantly pleased to be sixty
I'm amazed that I've lived so long
I had a great time till I reached fifty-nine
I thought that was it, I was wrong
It's not at all bad to be sixty
For my age I'm remarkably strong
So despite my natural, Scottish gloom
I intend to go on and on and on

I'm grabbing all that I'm given
My heating allowance is due
My bus pass is waiting, there's no hesitating
I'm allowed to the head of the queue
And I'll be just as ill as I want to
My symptoms I'll get from TV
And I'll moan to my doctor for hours
Till I get my prescription for free

I'm licensed to bore people younger
Like "How old do you think that I am?"
I almost fought in the war for the likes of you
I holidayed near Vietnamn
And I'll brandish my outrage and anger
And call them all lazy young thugs
I'll get steamin' and throw cans and bottles
And tell them to stop taking drugs

Yes I'll be as grumpy as grumpy can be
Whatever it is, it is bad
Whatever they've done, they should do it again
Till it's just like when I was a lad
New things are crap, computers are bad
I hate the technology race
And I sent an email to my local MP
With a CD tae back up my case

I'm pleasantly pleased to be sixty
I'm amazed that I've lived so long
I had a great time till I reached fifty-nine
I thought that was it, but I'm wrong
And I've practised the art of moaning
And pretendin' I'm ill in my bed
But the best laugh of all is folk trying to pretend
That they wished that I wasnae dead